Week 6 – Friday 28 October 2011
We had our first financial meeting with our accountant. It was at this stage simply an initial gathering of information but I found myself in this abhorrent situation of our life’s professional work of togetherness and what was supposed to bring us both to the point of financial security being put in front of us; and then very clinically and coldly we were holding discussions about the process of how to go about splitting this all up and we were now both sitting on opposite sides of the table. I could not take this all in – and in my head I was mixing the emotional issues with the financial issues. I could not suppress the negative thoughts, the apprehension, and the fear of how I would survive.
I wanted to scream out “But this is all supposed to be for US! There is still supposed to be an US!!!”
But I didn’t. I kept quiet. It was all overwhelming for me and I went back to coping by detaching myself from the moment in order to survive the pain.
I knew that before I could face this part of the separation – the financial separation – I would have to disentangle it from the emotional aspects. It was too early for me to do that.