Week 23: February 26 2012
Last week I was hit with the reality of those two things I had been avoiding – getting back to work to earn a living – and negotiating our financial property settlement.
In order to calm myself down, this week I wrote myself a divorce code. A blueprint to follow. While most points were regarding emotional aspects I had been pondering for several months now, the last three were cementing on paper what I felt would drive me through the practical financial realities of this divorce. These were aspects I had to work on. Somehow I was going to have to shake off this mourning, soul-searching side of me; and find once more the logic, mathematical-thinking, you-can-do-it-I-know-you-can, part of my brain that did exist up until 5 months ago when mush decided to take its place.
Here is my code.
1. My marriage was not a failure. I am not a failure
2. I am responsible for my own choices and in charge of my own thoughts
3. I am in charge of my own life and I do not need someone to fix me
4. I am grateful for my life and look forward to what being single has to bring.
5. I am not responsible for other people’s choices, actions or behaviour.
6. I hold as one of my core beliefs to be respectful and mindful of others. I am determined that divorce will not change that.
7. I love my children more than life itself and I will do my utmost to ensure that this divorce will not see them suffer. I have a hope that the children will find peace within themselves and, if not, that they know that they may turn to me for I am here for them always.
8. I would like to be given enough respect, space and time to heal. If it is not given to me, I will ask for it.
9. I will continue to behave in a cordial fashion with my husband throughout the divorce process.
10. I would like to feel satisfied that our divorce settlement is fair and reasonable for both of us.
11. I will aim with my husband for an amicable negotiated financial settlement out of the courts.
12. I will seek accounting, legal and financial planning advice and ensure that I have a clear ‘head-space’ before agreeing to the final settlement.
I love it. It’s always good to take control of the things that you are able to control! I am sure your blog is an encouragement to others who may be facing divorce. I admire your courage to share your deeply personal story. You go girl!
Thanks for your encouragement. The positive comments do help me keep me going. Your blogs are uplifting as well and give me some positive ideas.
Thanks, check out tomorrow’s on being single (as I am) there’s an awesome video on it too!
This is awesome. I love this. Truly inspiring.
Thanks for your very positive feedback.
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