Last Friday was a proud day for me seeing my daughter – my baby – being admitted as a lawyer.
In the days before, I thought of the changed family unit that was to witness her admission. With my two eldest sons away and my husband awol, the previously strong proud family unit of six was now down to three. It would be up to me and my third son to be the support for her and share with her in this joyous moment. There was a huge lump in my throat thinking of how it was to be compared to how it could have been.
Then the day before the ceremony a lawyer friend, the son of a family friend, with a change to his business commitments was able to accept her request for him to be in attendance and present her admission to the judge. It made her day to have him there and make her day so special. Afterwards we all crowded around my daughter and embraced each other and shared this special moment together – my two children, myself and our friend.
Later that night my son said to me. ‘Mum, don’t be sad for what could have been, look at what there is. Look at what we have. It is happy new memories we are making right here, right now, together.’
Too often we dwell on the stereotypical happy-ever-after image of the intact family unit of mother, father and children. Whatever the age of the participants, the image is the same.
Too often we dwell on the portrayed image of ‘love’ being the passion between a man and a woman; of two lovers; of romantic affairs.
Too often we forget all the other relationships in our lives that make us who we are.
Sister – sister
Friends from the past
Friends in the present
Cousins and second cousins
Neighbors and acquaintances
Cafe owner who makes you coffee
Person who comes and paints your house
Friend who babysat your children when they were little
Parents of your children’s friends who are still there for you
Music teacher who mentored your daughter in her passion for the piano
Son of a friend who made a special effort to attend your daughter’s law admission
Congratulations – admission to the bar is a tremendous achievement!!
Do you have experience? Is this your ‘other life’?
I was the Chief HR Officer for a global law firm with 33 offices around the world for 22 years. My other life was as a therapist (which proved worthwhile in a large law firm)..so I have tangential knowledge at the least..:-)
Chief HR officer for a firm with 33 offices? Wow! You must have come across a few more staff issues than me with my 20 staff members 🙂
Are you still working?
(Apart from the blogging which I read another blogger relate to as ‘work’ – but with ‘work’ in that case i think he was meaning something accomplished)
Lol – no I retired last March..it was time to start a new chapter. The firm was moving in a direction which I didn’t really want to travel..:-)
What a wonderful accomplishment, and lovely that you were there to celebrate with your daugher, Elizabeth! Look forward to hearing more about your adventures as ‘me’ instead of ‘we’. Thank you for following my blog!! 🙂
Thanks for your kind comments.
Regarding your blog … I had thought that I WAS following your blog and then I realised that I was only following your comments that you make on other people’s blogs and I find them thoughtful and insightful . Then recently I checked and realised that I had not checked out the real ‘you’, so I did. As i read I felt as if I already knew you, as I have read many of your comments and we seem to follow many of the same blogs. I will read yours more in depth as time goes on. Best wishes…..
Wow, Elizabeth, what a lovely thing to say–you have made my day! I hope you will check in regularly. Warmest wishes…
wow indeed. You have a wise son there – he probably got that from his mom. 🙂
Diana, I was brought to tears this morning by your kind words and tribute to me on your blog. You have given me the courage me to keep striding forward on my journey. I consider you an inspiration and a friend – thank you so very much. 🙂
Elizabeth you are so welcome. Courage is a virtue I admire and you show it in your writing and living your journey. Peace to you.
Thanks again. Peace to you too 🙂
Pingback: Friday Pick 14 « talktodiana
So very true. Like you, my ‘family unit’ is not stereotypical — but it is special and very meaningful to me and both my daughters. We have friends who turn up at all their events and as my eldest daughter says — the father in that couple is more like her real father than her father ever was. Because of him, my daughters feel special — and that is a wonderful gift!
Diana lead me here. I’m glad she did!
Thanks for visiting my blog and thank you for the comment. It is correct that other people step in and take the place of the one who is missing and they begin to mean a lot so that the list of ‘favourite people’ actually swells in number. I am also glad that you have someone special in your life for your daughters. Best wishes. i have visited your blog this morning. It looks inspirational. i will check it out in more depth soon. Best wishes 🙂
Diana sent me and I am now following. Congratulations to your son!
Thanks so much. Yes, sons are a precious gift to us. best wishes 🙂
Wonderful post. Glad Diana picked you. I’m glad to follow you. You are stronger than you know. Take care.
Thanks for stopping by and your kind words. I hope to be as string as I need to be. Can be difficult at times….but keep on keeping on is what i do .. 🙂
Wow, congratulations! Diana sent me and I loved your post. Very encouraging and courageous thoughts and blog – my sincere best wishes for the new memories that you are creating together 🙂
Thanks. I believe that the best times are yet to come. I have checked out your blog too. LOVE the name. 🙂
I followed Diana’s link, and I’m so glad I did. Congratulations! Strong, caring, adult children with mutual love and respect–sounds perfect. 🙂
Thanks so much for stopping by and your thoughtful comments. I like your blog too. 🙂
Thank you! And, nice to meet you 🙂