This blog – transforming my life from ‘we’ to ‘me’ – began in the Australian autumn. With summer ending, with the approaching darker colder days of winter, with my waning spirits, my blogging helped me focus on the spring that would follow winter. Spring would bring me hope with the birth of new flowers, warm days, and blue blue skies. Spring would see me moving forward towards a bright new future as ‘me’.
As time drew closer to spring, I wondered whether I would make it to my goal. It was not easy to put behind 40 years of coupledom. It took me 40 weeks before I felt I could say I had finished that very first step – the ending ‘we’. It was forty weeks before I finally saw myself as a single identity, a unique person.
Now I was beginning to think – is that the only progress I have made in my journey? Is that the only distance I have come? Not only did I still not know who I was, in my somewhat befuddled and mushy brain that accompanied my own grief, I felt that I had on occasions let others down. As I crumbled in the times of deep emotional pain, I felt my own values of courage and resilience had somehow been swept aside. What had happened to me? What had happened to my prophetic declaration “I want to keep my own core beliefs, hold onto my dreams and not let what somebody else chose to do drag me down as a person”
What happened to my becoming the captain of my soul?
Then this morning – the first day of spring – I opened my word-press page and was brought to tears by a tribute paid to me by a fellow blogger. In her blog ‘Talk to Diana’ I was described by her as someone who ….. ” courageously shares her deeply personal journey …… it is my hope that her courage has helped countless others who have lost relationships”. Moreover she described me by one of my own favourite quotes of Theodore Roosevelt.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt
To Diana, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The compliments that you paid to me today has given me the courage that I needed to keep striding forth on my journey. Those words above in bold that you describe as me are some of those values that I thought that maybe I had somehow lost. Now I know they are still there inside me. In fact they are what keeps me striding forward – despite the set-backs and shortcomings that do at times accompany me on my journey. Thank you for helping me see that. I consider you an inspiration. Those who have never ‘met’ Diana and her blog, I encourage you to visit her now – you will not be disappointed.
To all the other bloggers who have given me words of encouragement over the past 3 months and at the same time have provided insightful words in your own blogs, I am most grateful to you all.
To all of you who may be in the depths of your own winter of despair –
remember just around the corner …… it is almost spring. In spring, the rain will stop, the sun will shine, the flowers will bloom, and the hope of a new beginning will turn into reality.
I share with you all the first day of an Australian spring.
This day marks the first true day of my new beginnings as ‘me’.
I wish peace, calmness, hope and courage to you all …….
Spring is everywhere ……..
I am so glad to have discovered you and your blog.
thank you. I enjoy reading yours as well.
I am incredibly grateful to Diana for providing you with the boost and acknowledgement you deserve and need. It is interesting when one looks back from where we’ve come – and the perspective that we have while gazing in the rear view mirror. Sometimes it feels like we’ve traveled no farther than a tortoise might in an hour; other times we are amazed at the distance we have gone. You’re miles have been many and your road uneven – and you should feel incredibly proud of all you have accomplished. Bravo Elizabeth – and long may your travels include us..
Thanks so much. I feel I have made some incredible friends through this online writing and it certainly has given me a sense of purpose. I enjoy keeping in touch with you and hope too that we may stay in this online community together. 🙂
As do I…wishing you a wonderful evening..:-)
You too. – Isn’t it morning where you are – or have I placed you in the incorrect country?
I’m in the States – in Virginia, where it is 8:15 in the morning..I was assuming it is nightfall in Australia?
Yes, 10.30 pm to be precise. By the way I went outside last night and watched the full moon (the blue moon) after your post yesterday – just to check – and I played your you-tube clip up loud while i watched it. Dean Martin singing out over my valley on a moon-lit night – what a treat! 🙂
I love that!! He really was a crooner…:-) Have a glorious evening dear friend..:-)
I just found your blog for the first, after you came to mine and “liked” a post. thanks for stopping by . . . but I scrolled through a couple of your posts and found this one. I was shocked to see that you are writing about your journey from “we” to “me” after forty years of coupledom. I can’t imagine the transition you must go through, and the courageous way you are embracing it and staying above it by writing through it. It really is amazing some of the relationships you create via online writing. When people stop by time after time and continue to comment–it’s a conversation that can truly turn into a friendship. I am glad you found this in Diana too.
Truly an open and wonderful post here.
Hello. Thanks for taking the time to look at my blog and your kind comments. ‘Staying above it by writing through it’ is a good way to describe what has been happening by writing.
I have found the support of the blogging community has been amazing. In many ways it keeps me going. Best wishes 🙂
Hooray for Diana who almost always seems to say the right thing just when it’s needed. What a priivlege it has been to get to know you and watch the transformation. Happy Spring!
Thanks for the encouragement. It has been great to get tp know you through this blogging world as well. I hope your new life is shaping up the way you imagined. 🙂
I found your blog through Diana. She does know a good blog. I’ve read several of your postings. I felt your pain, your fear and now I feel your strength. Having gone through a divorce myself several years ago I know those fears. Even though I was the one who walked out (he was abusive) It is never easy. As another woman I am proud of your strength and your honesty. I will be following your blog to help boost you up when you need it and help cheer you on! 🙂
Thanks for your support and I hope that we do ‘speak’ again further down the track.
I have checked out your blog briefly, and will look at it more next weekend,
One of my ‘other’ lives is actually nutrition and I have specialized in food sensitivities so your topic interests me greatly….
More about that later – its a long story
best wishes … 🙂
Will look forward to it. Have a wonderful day!
Oooh, enjoy that Spring and send us a few new flowers !
From someone who is currently drifting into Autumn, x
In some ways it is a psychological thing because in fact autumn is actually warmer than spring as it carries with it the saved heat from summer! Enjoy the remaining warmer days 🙂