“A state of harmony characterized by lack of conflict and freedom from fear”
“Freedom from disturbance”
“Quiet and tranquility”
In reflecting on who I am and what I have always believed in ‘Peace’ is one of the first words that springs to my mind. I have always been a believer in peaceful resolutions of global conflicts. I believed in and indeed have contributed to peaceful solutions to national, community and workplace disagreements. I believed in conflict-free relationships. I believed in striving for my own inner peace.
Then along came the dreaded ‘D’ pelting me with its intense hurricane force destroying everything in its wake and leaving my previous life in tatters including my former beliefs and attitudes. The beliefs I strongly held for world peace, social justice and community harmony have been shoved aside for someone else to manage. It is enough that I survive my own personal storm. The storm of the harsh reality of my former life partner being on the other side of dividing lines. A physical dividing line. An emotional dividing line. A financial dividing line by the required splitting of our assets. Always now a dividing line.
For me there is still intense pain whenever I cast my thoughts to any of these divisions now between us. Here I am a believer in conflict-free relationships, a strong believer in harmony, and of tranquility. Yet, in regard to the one relationship I had formerly considered as the most sacred, I wondered whether there would ever come a time when there could be peace between us again.
A few weeks ago I read this fantastic poem titled “Peace In The Uncommon Ground”. I think this is a brilliant poem and I have copied it below. The poem describes firstly finding peace within yourself and then for that sereneness to transmit to the other person allowing them to find their own inner peace and then peace between each other happens by finding common ground. Brilliant!
After reading this poem, I realised that there were internal conflicts I struggled with. Should I have some contact with my husband for the children’s sake, or not see him for the sake of my own peace of mind? Should I stay in our former home with its now bittersweet memories, or go through the hassle of moving? Should I get stuck in and finish some work that needs doing or shall I sit back and enjoy the sunshine? Should I remain the resilient stable dependable one or break away and fly off on some exotic adventure?
I had always been a contented person yet now I was battling with an inner turmoil that never existed before. I had lost my inner peace.
I have taken steps over the past 12 months of finding peace. I enjoy living in today. I have embraced solitude. I have let go of the illusion of the happy-ever-after. I have forgiven the betrayal and the abandonment..Whilst all these actions are helpful, to some extent it is a self-protecting method of escapism – a means of avoiding reality. The reality of the full ramifications of the end of our marriage. The reality of the tortuous divorce process. The reality of starting out again – by myself. I had been attempting to place peace on top of chaos.
.In order to find peace with others in my life, I have to first find my own inner peace. In order to find inner peace, I have to first rid myself of the chaos, disorder and confusion that has found a home within me. To rid myself of the confusion, I need to untangle my competing beliefs and discard those aspects of my life that are no longer important to me. This will become the next part of my journey, the path to inner peace.
Peace In The Uncommon Ground
In the uncommon ground between us
I must first make peace
with where I stand
to make room
for you to be
with where ever you are
In finding peace
with where we’re at
to the common ground
for peace to grow
oh My! Thank you Elizabeth. You have touched my heart by letting me know my words touched yours. And in that space where we resonate with the truth of where we stand together, peace happens.
This brought tears to my eyes. Thanks.
You’re both making me cry!
The tears of sadness eventually turn to tears of joy – if we let them.
Thanks for stopping by.
I will be on the same journey as you. I firmly believe that I need some inner peace too. I’ve been clinging to the past lately and having regrets and wishing things had turned out differently. Which is a waste of time and energy, it only makes me sad. So know that you are not alone, we will get through this!!!
Thanks. It is a good feeling to know I am not alone. Thanks so much for your support and encouragement.
It is a beautiful, inspiring and almost soothing poem. I have been battling inner turmoils of my own and struggling to prioritize to maintain my inner peace. But life is a roller coaster, some days I wake up smiling, loving my life and other days I have to drag myself out of bed and somehow get through the day…but the efforts are on to get a permanence for the inner peace. Thanks for a lovely post 🙂
Yes, I have found it is the torture of too many overwhelming things to do that is stopping my inner peace at the moment. As you say “struggling to prioritise” when you can’t do it all, and when you have to prioritise things not so pleasant ahead of things you’d rather do.
Thanks for stopping by, I really appreciate the encouragement.