This is the fifth in a series of posts on ‘My Responsibilities’.
This area of my life is my downfall.
My husband was a keen athlete, participating in both individual and keen sports, all of which came easily to him. Rain, hail, or shine he was out running, kayaking, skiing, lifting weights, or cycling. Meanwhile I was inside looking after the children or cooking or cleaning or at my desk working. Sometime after he left me, I found a crumpled piece of paper of his jottings where he had drawn up a table, listing various attributes in the first column, then giving a score for both him and me in the next two columns. I presume this had been him weighing up whether we were really suited to each other. He included such things as socialising, dress sense, punctuality, and physical exercise. Needless to say, he had scored me very badly on physical exercise.
I was quite upset that he would draw up such a list after a 40 year relationship. I was angry that part of his decision to leave me was made after consideration of what I thought were personality differences and that, even if there were differences, a good marriage is all about tolerating those differences. There was not a hint of consideration of deep values such as kindness, honesty, and compassion; that I had always thought our marriage had been based on.
Initially in the throes of divorce grief “I’ll show you” angry phase; as well as a complete makeover and spring-cleaning of the house; I focussed on my well-being, diet and exercise. I became quite fit and healthy. That all fell away when I fell down into the “complete and utter sadness and misery” phase at which stage I was quite content to remain a motionless blob for days at a time..
Then over time, focussing on my inner self and affirming my values and beliefs, some reverse illogical psychology also came into play for me.
A dog has four legs, fur and a tail.
A cat has four legs, fur and a tail.
Therefore a cat is a dog.
Husband exercised every day. .
Husband dumps wife of 37 years without warning.
That is not an admirable trait.
Therefore, exercising everyday is not an admirable trait.
With the best of intentions, I do sometimes start an exercise programme and keep at it for some time. Then things crop up and the exercise gets shoved aside. So in my new take-responsibility-for-myself frame of mind, rather than start an intensive programme that will surely fail, I have decided to start a new approach to physical activity. I read this on another blogger’s post last week of always doing “something” physical every day. There is no need to feel guilty if it is not a marathon run, or two hours at the gym as long as it is “something”. So I can pass the test even if I only manage a 20 minute walk because that is better than nothing at all.
Interestingly enough, this philosophy works.
While too often I am rushed for time, with too many other more ‘important’ things to do, it is hard to find that hour or even a half hour for exercise. However, I can always find twenty minutes. In fact I can find twenty minutes twice a day. I can even making finding that twenty minutes a habit, a life-time habit. I can make those twenty minute episodes full of fun, and I can combine this strategy with a great walking adventure at least every fortnight.
One week down, so far so good, and I will update you further down the track and let you all know how I am coming along.
🙂 🙂 🙂
Image Courtesy [Grant Cochrane] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net