I embarked on a series of posts on foundations of comfort and in my last post ended up with freedom. The change was more than a subtle change in my thought process. It was profound. In thinking through what I require for security, I realized how much security constrains my freedom. Then I learned that freedom is not a thought process. It is a feeling. I know because that wondrous feeling swept over me when I was not expecting it and yet I recognized it as my long-lost friend and welcomed it in as part of my being.
There are three aspects to my freedom: freedom from constraints; freedom to act; and freedom of capacity. Think of me as a bird in a cage. In order to fly I need to be let out of the cage, I need to want to fly and I need to have the capacity or ability to fly. Without those three things, I cannot fly. I cannot be completely free. Today I will discuss the first aspect.
Freedom from constraints
To be free to fulfill my purposeful life I need the absence of constraints imposed upon me. Those of captivity; coercion; obligations; moral codes; guilt; mental turmoil; fear of danger, harm or pain; financial impediments; influence of other people; rules; restricted access; and attachments.
Some things on this list are not imposed upon me, they are imposed by me. I impose some of my own restraints. As long as I impose them myself, I can also remove them. I cannot enslave myself. The issue comes down to my ability to remove them. That ties in with the freedom of capacity which I will deal with in another post. For now, I will put aside impediments to my freedom imposed by guilt, mental turmoil, financial capacity and some of my own moral codes, and look only at restraints imposed by others or by my situation.
To be free, I need the absence from…
I need to be free from fear of danger or harm. I am fortunate to live in Australia, a nation free from slavery, tyranny and oppression. Putting aside the political argument that for some that may not be completely true, I myself feel relatively safe.
I need to be free from pain. In order to be truly free I need the absence of this divorce process (my captivity), the business (my obligation) and the moral code of doing the right thing by others ahead of myself. These are factors blocking my total freedom at the moment. I am working on them.
I need to be free from the restriction of my own requirement for certainty. Only then will I be free to find my new creative self.
On the other hand, now being single, I am enjoying freedoms that I never had before, because –
I am now free from…
I am free from the coercion to do things I do not really want to do. Previously I would not have called it coercion, I would have called it compromise. Whatever it is called, that obligation to fit in with another person all the time is now gone.
I am free from the influence of others blocking my ideas, opinions and beliefs.
I am as free as I can be from the control by others.
I am free from restrictions in the use of my space. I have free access to the whole house whereas previously other members of the family claimed that space as their own.
I am free from imposed limits on my free time. (Except when I impose them myself, which does not count because I can lift those limits if I want to. Note to self: stop restricting your own free time by finding more ‘must do’ duties.)
I am free from attachments. Now here is the turnaround. The first twelve months after separation I was grieving the loss of my relationship, my most precious attachment. Now I can see that the absence from that attachment will allow me the freedom to become my authentic me.
That is truly liberating.
What an uplifting vision you project! I love the feeling of forward motion…
Yes, and it is a lot easier than mud-trudging.
Elizabeth, I feel the excitement in your words. It is the feeling of true freedom!
Hugs and a big high five,
Yes, I am nearer every day.
Love this post Elizabeth! As for free time, have you tried scheduling it like you schedule to-do items? It’s something that works for me and by scheduling time to just be and do something I enjoy, it somehow frees me from guilt about not doing tasks!
Hey! I did just that, hence my next post.
Thanks to you. Yay! 🙂
Awesome, I cannot wait to read it Elizabeth! xo
You are free – too fly. And now that your wings have had a chance to get strong – soar my friend, soar..
Yes, I feel the wings growing and I am ready to set sail.
Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it.
I love the way your mind works!
Ah! You only get to read the summary-version!
I do not write about the tangled messy bits. 🙂
I enjoyed how you went through this process of examining freedoms, how they are part of your development of being on your own. I especially liked that you were concerned to not be harmed. Protect your heart, my friend! Also, that you will have the final beautiful result of being your ‘authentic’ self! I admire how you do this, so seriously and completely analyzing this, where I feel like I fly by the seat of my pants!! Smiles, Robin
Thanks for your encouragement. I really appreciate it.
Happy to have been following you and seen such growth and acceptance in your life. You have become quite an independent woman who is content and happy. I am, most of the time, those things! Smiles, Robin
Thanks for your support for me. I appreciate it immensely.