I have changed my mind

Posted on February 14, 2015 by elizabeth2560

I have changed my mind on a few issues surrounding my divorce.

(Disclaimer: My apologies to all those in happy, healthy, monogamous, caring, understanding relationships with partners who love being together and yet who give each other space to be individuals.)

1. Previous thought: I was abandoned.
New thought: I was set free

2. Previous thought: I have no-one to protect me.
New thought: I have no-one to hold me back.

3. Previous thought: I have suffered intolerable losses of assets and income.
New thought: I do not have to stress about what someone else is spending.

4. Previous thought: I am alone in making tough decisions.
New thought: I am able to make my own choices – on absolutely everything.

5. Previous thought: I do not have a soul-mate to share my life with.
New thought: I do not have to compromise on anything, especially values and beliefs.

6. Previous thought: I am trapped in this prison between past and future.
New thought: I am in this wonderful place of now.

I am free. 🙂

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Image courtesy[master isola]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

58 thoughts on “I have changed my mind”

Louise Gallagher on February 14, 2015 at 2:55 am said:

I absolutely Love love love how you have reframed your experience. Very powerful!

Job well done Elizabeth!

isn’t it amazing how when we get clear, our truth shines.

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 3:39 am said:
  
  I feel that I have been empowered. It is bursting from my chest. It is amazing. 🙂
  
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  - Tracy Lee Karner on February 16, 2015 at 7:55 am said:
    
    Empowerment is also bursting through your words.
    
    I’m so pleased for you, truly. Breakthroughs like this can’t be summoned at our will, we prepare and wait, and prepare and wait, and they come when they come.
    
    I’m glad yours came!!!
  - elizabeth2560 on February 21, 2015 at 10:46 pm said:
    
    Ah, yes… the ‘prepare and wait’ .. I know it so well. Finally paying dividends.
    Thanks for your support and faith in me.
annreichardt on February 14, 2015 at 3:06 am said:

I am inspired by your blog We have similar stories Mine will also touch on all the crap of despair losing a family through divorce. but my journey may be enlightening yet cautionary tales of dating after divorce. The stories will shock yet uplift a woman to being significant and capable of creating a life with or without someone besides them

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 3:41 am said:
  
  I am looking forward to reading more of your story. I read your first few posts and it could have been written by me … those first few days … each step was a struggle.
  best wishes. 🙂
  
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  - annreichardt on February 14, 2015 at 4:11 am said:
    
    Yes. Too many of us thrown into this. Mine was a 30 year marriage. The obstacles of future family events are always going to be there. Wedding gs grandchildren. Everything has been altered. That family fabric tattered
Chey Being on February 14, 2015 at 3:23 am said:

Ahhhh….smiling!!!

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 8:31 am said:
  
  me too 🙂
  
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JackieP on February 14, 2015 at 3:36 am said:

Now you’re talking! That is how I felt after my divorce. I am free! Good for you! Now go do something for yourself that feels good!

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 8:32 am said:
  
  yes, yes, yes.
  Thanks
  
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Jennifer's Journal on February 14, 2015 at 4:36 am said:

Elizabeth, this post is perfect! Bravo to you on finding the empowering way to look at your life. ❤

Jennifer xo

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 8:34 am said:
  
  It has taken a while and, yes, it is empowering. Thanks.
  
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Sherri on February 14, 2015 at 5:06 am said:

Beautifully put Elizabeth. And how I understand your words. So glad you found my blog and now I’ve found yours ~ Sherri ❤

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 8:35 am said:
  
  I am glad these words meant something to you. Thanks for stopping by.
  
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candidkay on February 14, 2015 at 5:49 am said:

Love this! At its most basic, it’s the choice to focus on new beginning vs. ending. And the ending is done and gone. The new beginning is the exciting bit, right? 🙂

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 8:37 am said:
  
  That’s so true. The change in focus (as well as making sure the ending IS done and gone). Yes, exciting times ahead.
  
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Val Boyko on February 14, 2015 at 6:09 am said:

I love this shift in perspective and how you see the world now. Elizabeth. It was a lot of inner work… and look at the rewards 🙂
A whole new free and big hearted life is there for living!!
Val xo

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 8:38 am said:
  
  Yes, a LOT of inner work… and great friends such as you who have pushed me along. Thanks.
  
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DJ on February 14, 2015 at 6:11 am said:

No apologies needed! It is absolutely inspiring to see you reframe your life. Thank you – I needed this today.

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 8:41 am said:
  
  Yes, the ‘re-frame’ is the thing that is doing the trick. I am glad this helped in some way.
  
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dianasschwenk on February 14, 2015 at 6:22 am said:

AMAZING! Makes the hair on my arms stand up and pay attention. I’m so happy for you Elizabeth. ❤
Diana xo

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 8:42 am said:
  
  You coaxed me along to get to this point. Thanks xoxo
  
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catterel on February 14, 2015 at 8:24 am said:

OH YES! You’re there! Happy dance!

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- elizabeth2560 on February 14, 2015 at 8:45 am said:
  
  You have been one of my mentors!
  Thanks for your continued support 🙂
  
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madnessandeuphoria on February 14, 2015 at 12:39 pm said:

LOVE it!!!

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- elizabeth2560 on February 15, 2015 at 9:12 am said:
  
  Thanks 🙂
  
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Making Sense from MY Perspective on February 14, 2015 at 1:15 pm said:

What a FANTASTIC view…I’m ready to be looking from your balcony! 😉

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- elizabeth2560 on February 15, 2015 at 9:12 am said:
  
  Yay! Come and join me 🙂
  
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Healing Grief on February 14, 2015 at 2:08 pm said:

I like you new choices Elizabeth and how you are stepping into your power and authentic self! Thanks for sharing this with us and reminding us we can all choose differently. 🙂

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- elizabeth2560 on February 15, 2015 at 9:13 am said:
  
  It took me a while to get to that point.
  Now I am here, the view is fantastic. Thanks for your support
  
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Marylin Warner on February 15, 2015 at 1:52 pm said:

This is powerful and wonderful, Elizabeth, perfect for a true personal Valentine’s Day gift to yourself and your future. Brava!

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- elizabeth2560 on February 21, 2015 at 10:32 pm said:
  
  Thanks. Yes, I will take that celebration.
  
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jmgoyder on February 15, 2015 at 3:54 pm said:

FANTASTIC!

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- elizabeth2560 on February 21, 2015 at 10:38 pm said:
  
  Yes! It is a great feeling.
  
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reocochran on February 16, 2015 at 5:40 am said:

This can speak to so many out there, such a change in perspective! Every day you are finding out new strengths and discoveries within yourself! I am on board with all of these, there may be times I would like to share my life,but I won’t compromise some of my freedom, I love the Kahlil Gibran quotation about two Cypress trees being strong growing tall beside each other, also never being in the shadow of each other.

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- elizabeth2560 on February 21, 2015 at 10:42 pm said:
  
  I had not heard of that poem. I looked it up. It is a classic masterpiece! Thanks for sharing that with me. What the poem says is SO true, about being together and yet apart. I think all the romance books and movies of having “soul-mates” and being intertwined is not how it should be. In that respect, I certainly do have a different outlook now.
  
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  - reocochran on February 26, 2015 at 11:45 am said:
    
    Thank you for saying you looked this one up, Elizabeth. I don’t memorize poems like I used to, so this really makes me happy that you enjoyed Kahlil Gibran’s poem. My brother and sister in law used it in their marriage ceremony. I think you and I both have changed and grown, in the past 2 years. I made many more mistakes than you did, Elizabeth. I feel much better now that I have been on my own for 8 years now. Dating sometimes is fun, but even this can be tiring or unsatisfactory. I have a lot of energy and enthusiasm for family. I have learned not to need anyone but wish someday to share my golden years with someone, ha ha! Maybe I will just have male and female friends, one never knows! smiles!
  - elizabeth2560 on March 2, 2015 at 5:32 pm said:
    
    Yes, I agree with you that I think we have both grown in the past two years. We have come from different positions (you dating and me shying away from that) and ended up in the same spot (happy with being alone – for now).
    It took me a while to get to that place of contentment, after having people around me on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing your perspective with me.
  - reocochran on March 10, 2015 at 8:33 am said:
    
    I am adding to this with a brief comment about loving the words you said, “I am in this wonderful place of now.” I think you could write a poem with this lovely title or words that make you appreciate where you are at, after all you have gone through. Just saw your comments on the postcards story with my Mom, Elizabeth. I was surprised I missed yours and others, too. Take care!
  - elizabeth2560 on March 12, 2015 at 8:03 pm said:
    
    That comment of yours made me think. In my first week of pain I had written in my journal ‘I have been stripped of my past, robbed of my future and thrown into the twilight zone of the present … one painful moment at a time.
    Thanks dear friend, for pointing out how far I have come, with the pain gone, and celebrating “now” in all its glory.
maria5125 on February 17, 2015 at 12:35 am said:

How I know those feelings!!! I’m so happy for you that you are there now!!! It is so freeing when you come to the realization that it was all for the best. I feel like thanking my ex everyday for setting me free!!!

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- elizabeth2560 on February 21, 2015 at 10:49 pm said:
  
  I never thought I would get to that point and yet I am there. And the ‘forever’ into the future is not only looking ‘not gloomy’, it is beginning to look very sunny.
  
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Ian Munro @ leadingessentially.com on February 17, 2015 at 2:05 am said:

I’m just sitting here at the beginning of my day feeling so happy for you. Thank you for the inspiration!

BTW “Previous thought: I do not have a soul-mate to share my life with.
New thought: I do not have to compromise on anything, especially values and beliefs.” may be a paradox. You will attract beautiful people with such purity of presence

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- elizabeth2560 on February 21, 2015 at 10:51 pm said:
  
  Oh, I was SO touched by that thought for me today. Thanks so much.
  
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coastalmom on February 24, 2015 at 1:00 pm said:

THIS needs to be framed or put in a card for other women going through the same! I’ve always said that nothing is a waste if it can help others! We all go through crisis in our lives but there is always something positive to be gleamed and you my dear have taken the best from something that I am sure was of great sadness in your life and found an opportunity in it!
Just think…. if you can do that in the worst of situations… what wonderful things must be right around the corner for you in all your happy times to come!!!!!
xoxo

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- elizabeth2560 on March 2, 2015 at 5:26 pm said:
  
  Ooh! Thanks for such positive feed-back.
  It made me feel quite special today.
  
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paupana on March 2, 2015 at 3:36 am said:

What a great post !!!!!! Thx for sharing your new point of view … its really inspiring ! Congrats this lines are fascinating.

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- elizabeth2560 on March 2, 2015 at 5:33 pm said:
  
  Thanks for your praise of me. I really appreciate it.
  
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JcCee on March 3, 2015 at 7:35 am said:

I am so glad that you stopped by my blog because it made me check yours out. This post is really inspiring. It is amazing how if we change our way of thinking, we change our world. You did a wonderful job of doing just that with your situation. Great post! You just gained yourself a follower! 🙂

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- elizabeth2560 on March 3, 2015 at 7:39 am said:
  
  Thanks for the follow. I am focussing on me and my health as the first step into my changed world and you have a great blog.
  
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  - JcCee on March 3, 2015 at 8:07 am said:
    
    You’re very welcome and you are off to a Great start! And thanks so much for the kind words again! 🙂
Wifey Monologue on March 4, 2015 at 5:16 am said:

Such a wise and amazing change of heart. Glad to know you viewed it now in a very positive manner.

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- elizabeth2560 on March 4, 2015 at 7:02 am said:
  
  Thanks so much for stopping by and your kind comments. Your words have touched my heart today.
  
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A Star on the Forehead on March 6, 2015 at 12:42 am said:

You go girl!! I love this! I needed this reminder of all the joys of being on my own…sometimes I forget! Blessings! 🙂

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- elizabeth2560 on March 12, 2015 at 7:50 pm said:
  
  Yes, this was a reminder note to myself.
  
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Ray on March 21, 2015 at 8:30 pm said:

#3 resonates LOUDLY with me… since the separation and the finalized divorce, I have had a balanced checkbook to the PENNY! I haven’t bounced a single check either. Small victories in my eyes. Congrats on changing your outlook on things. It shows strength.

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- elizabeth2560 on March 21, 2015 at 11:26 pm said:
  
  Ah, yes… small victories, yet victories for sure! It is a great feeling. Thanks for stopping by and for your support. I really appreciate it.
  
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