40 FOUNDATIONS for my FUTURE
When my strong trusted 40 year relationship crumbled without warning I lost my sense of security, stability, safety, emotional well-being and confidence. I was left in a financially vulnerable position. All these factors caused me distress with a fear for my future. I had to build my own sense of COMFORT, PROTECTION and SIGNIFICANCE in my world of today, which would become the stepping stones to me becoming strong, independent and free in my future.
In the raging chaos of the early turmoil, I found a state of calm, routine and embracing my aloneness developed for me a sense of comfort in my now tumultuous world.
Once strong, I determined to take responsibility for my own stability, security and future.
My final foundation of strength was finding my own sense of inner peace by appreciating my own significance.
1. COMFORT: I breathed, got up every day, and survived, one hour at a time.
2. COMFORT: I was comforted by spending time with family and friends.
3. COMFORT: I made a gratitude list, of things to be grateful for.
4. COMFORT: I rose each day to watch the sunrise. It never let me down.
5. COMFORT: I put myself first. I made a ‘healing time and space capsule’ in my home.
6. COMFORT: Simplify. I reduced my workload, giving up all except work and family.
7. COMFORT: I started to journal my thoughts and use my journal as my confidante.
8. COMFORT: Education. I learned about grief, divorce, and being positive.
9. COMFORT: simplify # 2. I deferred major decisions as I was not ready for them.
10.COMFORT. I spent time in nature. I focused on hope and positivity.
11. COMFORT: I developed interests in books, movies, music, poetry, history, philosophy.
12. COMFORT: I embraced solitude by exploring my own passions and creative talents.
13. PROTECTION: MY RESPONSIBILITIES: # 1 Taking responsibility,
14. PROTECTION: MY RESPONSIBILITIES # 2 Responsibility for own needs
15. PROTECTION: MY RESPONSIBILITIES: # 3, Basic needs;
16. PROTECTION: MY RESPONSIBILITIES: Health # 4 diet, #5 exercise, doctor’s checks.
17. PROTECTION: MY RESPONSIBILITIES: # 6: home my sanctuary of peace and calm. 18. PROTECTION: I changed my locks and installed a security and fire alarm system.
19. PROTECTION: MY RESPONSIBILITIES # 7: family and society
20. PROTECTION: Security: I would provide for my stability, routine, sense of certainty.
21.PROTECTION: Emotional safety. I would become an emotional rock of strength.
22. PROTECTION: SECURITY: The financial catastrophe of divorce. Sinking,Taking stock.
23. PROTECTION: SECURITY: Financial impact. Survival, Protect, Budget, Build assets
24. PROTECTION: SECURITY: My financial priorities, Discretionary spending
25. PROTECTION: SECURITY: Financial opportunities. Financial freedom My choices
26. SIGNIFICANCE: I am Significant
27. SIGNIFICANCE: I will allow myself time and Focus
28. SIGNIFICANCE: Not quite at the crossroads
29.SIGNIFICANCE: I will create my own revival identity
30. SIGNIFICANCE: I am on my way to revival
31: SIGNIFICANCE: My sanctuary
32.SIGNIFICANCE: Freedom from constraints
33. SIGNIFICANCE: Freedom to stop
34. SIGNIFICANCE: Freedom to celebrate
35. SIGNIFICANCE: Freedom to do
36. SIGNIFICANCE: Freedom to Find My Voice and Speak my truth