My gratitude list

Yesterday marked 52 weeks since my husband left me. I spent the day at home by myself. Friends were concerned this was not a good idea, that I may spend the time feeling sad about my losses. Not so. Any losses are his – not mine.

I realised I have gained so much, especially the realisation there is so much in life for me to be grateful for. I decided to mark this occasion by listing them.

1. I am grateful for my four beautiful children, daughter-in-law and grand-daughter; for their support and love, for their optimism for my future, for their enthusiasm for their own future.
2. I am grateful for my 85 year old mother, my three siblings and their families, and for the values instilled in me by my family of courage, determination; and of doing the ‘right thing’.
3. I am grateful for the opportunity of being able to see my extended family and families more often.
4. I am grateful for those of my friends who provided a shoulder to lean on, a helping hand when required, flowers, cards and someone to cry my heart out to.
5. I am grateful for those of my friends who didn’t, for you have taught me tolerance.
6. I am grateful for being able to agree on a peaceful property settlement.
7. I am grateful for the opportunity of spring-cleaning the house and property.
8. I am grateful for ridding myself of truckloads of “stuff” as it holds no meaning to me.
9. I am grateful for all the space in my life where “stuff” used to be as in its place now is clarity and purpose.
10. I am grateful for the opportunity of now living a life rich in meaning every day.
11. I am grateful my love of living a life of meaning has not been crushed from my soul.
12. I am grateful for the opportunity to watch the sunrise beckoning me with hope and new beginnings every single day.
13. I am grateful for my valley, for the mist in the mornings, the kookaburra’s laugh, the birds songs, the trees and the flowers.
14. I am grateful for my good health and current level of fitness.
15. I am grateful for the determination – when I apply my mind to it – to improve my level of fitness to that which ought to be.
16. I am grateful that I still have no grey hairs.
17. I am grateful to the policeman who dropped my licence demerit points lost from 3 down to 2 when caught speeding in the early days post separation when I was driving the four hours to see my children.
18. I am grateful for being stopped because I was quite distraught and really should not have been driving. It was a wake up call that when driving – no matter how bad I am feeling – to focus on my driving.
19. I am grateful to the man in the supermarket who gave me some small change when I had not taken enough cash to buy veggies for my soup. On the lowest of my low days, you touched me with your kindness.
20. I am grateful for the tradesmen who assisted me in the clean-up of the house surrounds and the refurbishing of upstairs.
21. I am grateful for the refurbished pine kitchen table rescued from the top shed replacing the trestle table used for the past 11 months.
22. I am grateful for the memories of family life around the kitchen table.
23. I am grateful for the opportunity of making more memories around the table.
24. I am grateful for now being able to live my life the way I want, rather than by somebody else’s standards and values.
25. I am grateful my own standards and values have not been compromised.
26. I am grateful for being able to write in my journal and in my blog.
27. I am grateful for all the blogging friends I have made, for the support and encouragement shown to me.
28. I am grateful I have come this far in seeing myself as a single identity, and no longer as half a couple.
29. I am grateful that I have survived my first 52 weeks alone.
30. I am grateful for the courage instilled in me to embrace my life going forward as an adventure in discovering me.