I started this blog, writing about transforming my life from ‘we’ to ‘me’ and surviving the pain of the collapse of my 37 year marriage that occurred suddenly through no choice of my own. I survived the first six months by living in today and enjoying the moments of a glorious summer, the beautiful sunrises that have beckoned me each day, the views to the valley, walks in the forests, listening to the birds, spending time with my family.
When that first summer ended, the days became shorter, the mornings colder and I could see the winter approaching; I began to wonder how I would survive the darkness, the cold, the grey skies and the impending gloom of winter. Then I thought to myself – ‘why?’ It is almost spring. With spring comes hope, the birth of new flowers, warm days again and blue, blue skies. Winter is simply the path one needs to take to get there. So I felt about my life situation. What would be achieved by wallowing in the depths of a winter of loneliness and despair? What would be the point of mourning the loss of the supposed sunny happy-ever-after ‘we’ that was gone? i decided Instead I could choose to move forward towards a bright new future as ‘me’. I resolved on that day it would be the start of my transformation, my 40 steps from ‘we’ to ‘me’, one step for each year of our time together. At the time, I did not know how long each step would take and I did not know what the steps would be but I did know that I would get there. I resolved to hold on to my own core beliefs, keep my dreams and not let what somebody else chose to do drag me down as a person. At that moment it was approaching winter; it was cold, dark, and despairing; and yet I could see that it was almost spring. My blog ‘almost spring’ began.
A forty year marriage is not something easy to let go of. It took me 40 steps to emotionally let go of ‘us’ as a couple and another 40 steps to find myself. Along the way I have been celebrating in life’s joys and gradually ridding myself of the layers of my old life that are no longer serving me a purpose. During the process I stripped myself down to my bare inner self, reaffirmed my values, beliefs, attitudes and responsibilities. This led me to having an epiphany underpinned by a realization that I was not living my life true to the inner me. I fell into despair again, grieving that loss of me, gradually awakening by hearing my own voice and seeing by my own eyes, with a resolve to transform my life and live authentically as the true me. I began taking responsibility for my own stability, protection, and emotional safety; and I acknowledged my own significance.
I then transitioned from my old world to my new world, holding on to those parts that I wanted to keep, and letting go of those that no longer served me any purpose. I was ready to move on.
Spring into Summer
Now, I am looking forward to a completely new life and am beginning to rebuild myself.
From what I initially thought was a catastrophe, I now realize was and is a wonderful opportunity to create and transform my life into something really outstanding.
I would never before have dreamed that was possible.
I feel optimistic and enthused about the new life I am creating.
I am determined to continue to find my voice and speak my truth.
This is my journey.
yes yes …. go for it … thats the right thinking … 🙂 … you seem to be a strong woman … you can do it … in fact … we can do … we females are the best !!! :):):) sending you a big big smile to brighten your days a little bit.
I have nominated you for the Very Inspirational Blogger Award so that the people who follow my blog may have a chance to read yours. I have found your blog truly inspirational. Please feel free to accept or decline as you wish. The listing for the award can be found on my current post
Best wishes 🙂
Hi Elizabeth, thank you for following my blog, I do hope that in what I write positively contributes in some way to you to taking a brand new step forward. Lots of love, Clarabelle
Thanks. Yes it does, gradually I am focusing less on my current personal crisis and more on my writing and reading others writing too. Like your blog!
That’s really great Elizabeth, wonderful news, keep up the creativity!! Clarabelle
First I want to thank you for following my blog. You are my first and will not be forgotten. Second, I want to thank you for sharing your steps on becoming you. You are not alone in this and you will get through.
Love & blessings,
Thanks for your comment. It is great to have this world of bloggers to share thoughts with.
Wow, I’m sorry to hear about the abrupt end to your marriage. I can’t begin to imagine…. But thank you for choosing to follow one of my blogs (http://smilekiddo.wordpress.com/) – I truly appreciate it. Hopefully it can help give you some things to grin about as you find your way on your own.
Thanks for visiting my blog. yes your blog does brighten my day.
You definitely are a very strong woman! If you ever feel lonely..remember your friends here in the blogging world are always there for you and I will be one of them 🙂 Hugs, Pri
Thanks for your comment. yes it is great to know that there are friends here in the blogging world.
“If you are facing in the right direction, all you need to do is keep on walking”. Buddhist Proverb
Keep going Elizabeth. There is light at the end of the tunnel. 🙂
Thanks for dropping by. I am from Australia too. I cannot imagine being away from all my children. One of my four has moved to Canada and that is hard – but it does make for great holidays! It must have been a difficult decision for you – yet exciting as well. And with skype and such-like now and cheap air-fares, it is a little easier than days gone by. I have enjoyed your posts. Keep writing, you do it well. Take care. .
Thanks Elizabeth. Right now I’m missing everybody terribly despite loving being with my partner. It will be easier I’m sure when I get to know a few more people. Divorce is tough. Take care of yourself and keep up the writing. It’s a great way to get through life’s challenges. 🙂
You too and thanks again.
Writing is a wonderful tool for healing. I think it’s a beautiful thing that you are brave enough to share your experiences and emotions, so that as you heal, you help others do the same. Blessings for the journey.
Love and Light, Nicole xx
Thanks for your kind comments. I love your posts! They raise me up.
almost spring is here!!! you have no idea how long i have waited… 😀
Thanks. And I still have your poem ‘memories’ at the back of my mind to ask you if I can re-post or link to one day. It brightened one of my darkest days and is a wonderful poem. 🙂
of course you can. 🙂 i often wondered where almost spring went.. 🙂 stay in touch…
Yes, I will. Thanks
You realize, of course, that you’ll be well on your way to writing a book when you get done with this blog…
Thanks for providing such encouragement. i had thought of a book, but anything is possible in my new found ‘unmarried’ status. thanks again 🙂
Sorry, I left out the word ‘not’. I had not thought of a book. you have given me inspiration.
Blogging, journaling, writing down your feelings during the hard times AND the joyous times is a great companion and better than taking a pill.
You sound like a very strong woman and I know without a doubt that you will get through the dark valley of your divorce and come out of it a better person. The journey is definitely hard but the destination is so awesome! You have lots of support from us like-minded women out here!
Sending cyber hugs in great, fluffy bunches,
Thanks for stopping by and for your kind comments. Yes, i have found blogging to be an outlet and the support from fellow bloggers is AMAZING. You too seem positive in your outlook and I wish you well 🙂
This is your great opportunity to discover yourself, and be yourself.
Thanks for your kind words of encouragement. It means a lot to me.
Winter can also be a time to “ski!”
is that ‘ski’ as in the white fluffy stuff, or is that ‘ski’ as in Spend Kids Inheritance?
It means what ever you want it to mean to you!
Acceptance and forgiveness require such strength. Just the opposite of what many think.
The open and honest way that you express your feelings is so powerful. You are helping others who struggle.
This work, I hope, is helping you as well.
Thanks for your kind words and your encouragement of my writing. I really appreciate it.
I had not thought of my blog writing as ‘work’ before, or that it may be helping others. That thought in itself is an encouragement to continue.
I do know that as i write, and then ‘publish’ a post; I am better able to let-go of that aspect of my grief. So in that way it is helping me to move forward.
If that is also helping others, that is my reward.
Thanks for stopping by.
Congratulations, I just nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award: http://esengasvoice.wordpress.com/2012/09/23/the-liebster-blog-award/
Thanks for the nomination. I am most honoured.
I look forward to checking out the other blogs on your honour list.
I will acknowledge the award on my blog over the next few weeks.
I have now had some time to check out your blog in more detail. It is inspirational. Thanks again.
From ‘we’ to ‘me’ is a very worthwhile journey. You’ve taken charge. Sounds like 40 steps lighter, to me.
Yes. It’s a slow process. But, as you say, each stp lightens the load.
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My mother (and our family) is going through the same thing. Women like you and she are so incredibly strong. My heart goes out to you and best wishes on your journey
Thank you so much for stopping by. I really appreciate your words of encouragement.
May your mother find the courage to get through this gracefully and with her dignity intact….
That is certainly my own aim.
May you also find your own peace. Late life divorce throws young adults into a tailspin of feeling responsible for their parents at a time when (normally) the stable parental unit is the one supporting them. A role reversal which is one that takes some adjustment.
My mother and I went through the same thing when my Dad passed away when I was only twenty. Mum struggled for a few years but grew strong over time and eventually became the matriarch of our stable extended family. I am grateful for that huge support base for me now and look up to her and how she handled that crisis and survived. My daughter looks at that extended family too and feels…. all is not lost.
beautifully written, i wish you the very best on your journey! (lol i hate that word!)
Hello. I am not fond of the word ‘journey’ either. However, when all forms of normality have been lost, it has definitely helped envisioning that I am moving / travelling / progressing towards something more positive and away from the dark hole into which I was thrown. One day I will work out where I am actually heading 🙂
Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate you stopping by.
I really admire your courage and inspiration. I hope that by using this blog and the medium of writing, it has helped you to in some way make sense of the life that you are now living. To be able to hold your head up high and chart your journey takes a massive amount of courage and I truly wish you all the best as you continue on in your new life. 🙂
Thanks so much for your kind comment.
I have just been reading some of your posts. We are both on a journey, it seems.
Good luck with your journey too 🙂
Thank you – and for the record, I think that your story would make an amazing book (if that is the topic on which you were thinking of writing?). 🙂
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Hi! I have only recently started following your blog but I already love what you are doing here. This is why I am nominating you for the Versatile Blogger Award.
Now, I’m not sure if you accept these awards.. but if you do want to, please click on the link -> http://chey4412.wordpress.com/2014/04/07/my-first-award-nomination/
Thanks for the nomination. I really appreciate your suport of me.
Hi Elizabeth. I sympathise. It’s a shock to be suddenly ‘me’ – until we start to realise how much of ourselves we’d given away, and emabark on rebuilding the person we once wanted to be and lost along the way. I’m sure you’re well on the way by now!
Thanks for the encouragement. I really believe that you are correct and I am grateful for your kind words.
Hi, Elizabeth. Thanks for the follow. It has been a revelation visiting your blog. Awesome view out your window which you obviously don’t need me to tell you. It sounds to me like you have laid the groundwork for the chapter of your life. Congratulations and much luck!
Thanks for your kind comment. I have just come through this transition (ie divorce process) and wondered where to start as me and thought I would start with my health. I came across your blog and am motivated by your attitude of self-motivation and taking responsibility for your own health and well-being. thanks for the inspiration!
Keep up the good work! The writing works wonders.
Thanks. Yes, the writing does work wonders.
I just found your blog through Send Sunshine and am so inspired by your journey, and your beautiful outlook on life! I look forward to getting to know you better and will be following along! 🙂
Thank you so much for your well wishes and the follow. I look forward to seeing more of you 🙂
So happy to be following your blog, Elizabeth! Your strength and positive attitude shines though. I love your theme using the number 40. I’m looking forward to being inspired!
Thanks SO much for following. I have had a few weeks more-or-less away from my computer, and will be getting back into things again soon. I am very much impressed with your blog too.
Love your good, positive and brave attitude and seeking healing. It is quite a journey learning to love yourself and put yourself as a priority. A few mates are going through the same journey as you.
Thanks for stopping by and reading some of my posts. I really appreciate it. Thanks for your kind words. It has been a hard road, made easier by the kindness shown to me along the way.