Wisdom

Posted on December 17, 2013 by elizabeth2560

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

Following on from the fact that I have now become wise (see my last post), I thought that I would return to a favourite quote and see whether I think differently now than before.

A. The things that I now know I cannot change

My marriage ended and I did not choose to end it.
There is a period from a marriage’s end until complete resolution of its ending.
My personality.
My age and gender.

B. The things that I now know that I can change

What I choose do now.
To always act with grace and dignity even when I don’t feel like it.
My character.
In fact everything else, except # 1 – 4 in part A above.

C. The difference

I thought my choices were taken away and they were not.
I cannot help how I feel but I can always change how I act.
Character is what counts.
There is almost nothing that is not within my power to change.

D. The serenity

See point 2 in Part B above. Try it. The calming effect is contagious.

E. The courage

See point 2 in Part B above. As I have done it (most of the time), then that proves I have courage.

F. The wisdom

.See point 2 in all the above. That ‘period’ may take me a long time and maybe all my life but I will not let it define my life or destroy my life.

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Image courtesy- [Nongpimmy]:FreeDigitalPhotos.net

42 thoughts on “Wisdom”

Tracy Lee Karner on December 17, 2013 at 9:01 pm said:

Wow.

Succinctly written, and it sure packs a wallop of wisdom! (The quote, of course, and also your reflection on it).

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- elizabeth2560 on December 17, 2013 at 10:05 pm said:
  
  Thanks. Sometimes short is sweet.
  (And I thought I would spare my readers the heavy ten pages of philosophical ramblings I wrote on my ideas and summary of books upon books upon articles on this topic)
  
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  - Tracy Lee Karner on December 17, 2013 at 11:01 pm said:
    
    The philosophical ramblings and summaries are important–they give us plenty to cut so we can get to the point.
  - elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 6:18 am said:
    
    Yes, it is all important.
    Thanks for all your inspirational posts this past year and for all your supportive comments.
    I am offline now for three weeks. ‘See’ you in the new year.
    Have a great Christmas.
  - Tracy Lee Karner on December 23, 2013 at 9:31 am said:
    
    Have a happy off-line holiday!
  - elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 2:41 pm said:
    
    You too.
    (I am really going off-line this time.)
    🙂
Crowing Crone Joss on December 17, 2013 at 9:24 pm said:

and the wisdom goes on. Some lessons in life we wish we had not had to learn, but then, we shake out head. It is what it is – another great AA saying – and we get to choose what we make of it. For years I felt that I had been dealt a bad hand and had to make the best of what I had. then one day, I realized I could just walk away from the table!

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- elizabeth2560 on December 17, 2013 at 10:10 pm said:
  
  I know what you mean about feeling you had to ‘make the best of it’.
  Even though I did not physically walk away, I am now walking away from the remnants of my past life and emotionally detaching from all the pain and suffering.
  It is a glorious feeling.
  
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  - Crowing Crone Joss on December 17, 2013 at 10:48 pm said:
    
    yes, glorious. Kudos to you for doing all the hard work of getting to this place.
  - elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 6:17 am said:
    
    🙂
    
    I am offline now for three weeks. have a great Christmas.
stilllearning2b on December 17, 2013 at 10:19 pm said:

Love your outline format. It speaks to my analytical mind:)

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- elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 6:16 am said:
  
  Thanks. I understand that ‘analytical’ mind of yours.
  I think that is why I enjoy your posts so much.
  Have a great Christmas. I am off-air now for 3 weeks.
  
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dianasschwenk on December 18, 2013 at 3:28 am said:

Ahh the serenity prayer… Elizabeth, you are a Lady; elegant, kind, dignified, wise, merciful, just, etc.

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- elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 6:42 am said:
  
  Thanks. I have caught those attributes from you 🙂
  
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3kids2cats1divorce on December 18, 2013 at 3:36 am said:

Amen. I’ve been saying that prayer daily for months, but had not truly looked at it as you have. So helpful.

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- elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 6:43 am said:
  
  It is one of my main inspirations.
  Thanks for your kind comment.
  
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Jennifer's Journal on December 18, 2013 at 4:46 am said:

Ah, point 2. “To always act with grace and dignity even when I don’t feel like it”. Definitely the one I am constantly working on. But, Elizabeth, you inspire me to try harder. Thank you. x

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- elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 6:44 am said:
  
  Yes the acting with dignity when you don’t feel like it is THE hardest action to take. ( I am still working on it too).
  
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jules on December 18, 2013 at 12:12 pm said:

YOU ARE AWESOME———YOU TAKE ME TO A PLACE WHERE ALL IS CALM____THANK YOU______I HOPE I CAN BE AT LEAST ONE THIRD OF WHO YOU ARE————before2013 ends will you tell me why your ex left,was it midlife crisis,ow,om,or just stupidity———-I cannot comprehend how he walked away from GEM like you——

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- elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 6:46 am said:
  
  Thanks for your comment.
  … and your faith and belief in me.
  
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Lindsey (Currie) Dubois on December 18, 2013 at 2:42 pm said:

I heart the serenity prayer…. An apt reminder for the holiday season, for sure. 🙂

Sounds like you are working your process in a beautiful and aware kind of way.

Thanks for sharing.

Happiest holidays,
Lindsey

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- elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 6:46 am said:
  
  Thanks for your comforting words.
  
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  - Lindsey (Currie) Dubois on December 23, 2013 at 5:52 pm said:
    
    🙂
Gede Prama on December 20, 2013 at 3:30 am said:

visit, read the article and thanks for posting your article is quite good and we hope that all our friends all success and thank you all, greetings. (This is a good thing) 🙂

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- elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 7:00 am said:
  
  Thank you.
  
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WordsFallFromMyEyes on December 21, 2013 at 4:28 am said:

This is strong and wonderful, Elizabeth. You’ve identified everything perfectly. Very clear. Like cutting away the overhanging branches, to clear the path forward.

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- elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 7:02 am said:
  
  Thanks for your support the past year and for your great posts. I have really enjoyed them.
  I am offline now for three weeks. I will ‘see’ you in the new year.
  Have a great Christmas.
  
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reocochran on December 21, 2013 at 6:52 am said:

Whenever I read your posts, I get so much out of them! Take care and God bless and keep you safe and healthy while you are enjoying family and friends for the holidays! I will be here in three weeks, when I get a chance to check in! I have had some challenges keeping up with my friends! Thank you for being a faithful reader! Hugs, Robin

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- elizabeth2560 on December 23, 2013 at 7:02 am said:
  
  Thanks.
  
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backonmyown on December 29, 2013 at 10:15 am said:

I have many times relied on the Serenity Prayer to get me through difficulties. Happy New Year, Elizabeth.

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- elizabeth2560 on January 8, 2014 at 8:37 am said:
  
  Yes, it is deeply profound and sensible. I refer to it a lot..
  I had been remembering another mantra you wrote about and I cannot find it or remember it. I think it was all Cs. Something like ‘Can-t control it, can’t change it…’.
  Can you fill me in on the rest or point me to your post.
  Thanks
  Happy New Year 2014
  
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  - 3kids2cats1divorce on January 8, 2014 at 8:39 am said:
    
    One I’ve heard is: don’t cause it, can’t control it, can’t change it. I think it’s 12 step program mantra. Appreciate the brain nudge on this today!
  - elizabeth2560 on January 9, 2014 at 8:51 pm said:
    
    Thanks
  - backonmyown on January 8, 2014 at 11:03 am said:
    
    I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it. I can’t cure it. I don’t remember which post that was. I can’t change it makes a good fourth one, doesn’t it? I learned the c’s and the serenity prayer in AlAnon. Sent from my iPhone
    
    >
  - elizabeth2560 on January 9, 2014 at 8:50 pm said:
    
    Thanks. It is a great mantra.
3kids2cats1divorce on January 8, 2014 at 8:40 am said:

*didn’t* cause it —- not don’t!

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reocochran on January 12, 2014 at 4:18 am said:

I did think this was almost a perfect New Year’s Day resolution, to recite that prayer/poem every day, to remember its tenets and try to live with grace. I enjoyed your little references but going from points to parts was a funny exercise in my ability to think clearly! I think later, after lunch, I need a nap! Smiles, Robin

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- elizabeth2560 on January 13, 2014 at 5:35 pm said:
  
  Thanks for stopping by.
  I enjoyed your comment.
  
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Marylin Warner on January 12, 2014 at 1:26 pm said:

Right to the point, succinct, thorough, and a great reminder…especially about acting graciously even when you don’t feel like it. A burst of wisdom!

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- elizabeth2560 on January 13, 2014 at 5:40 pm said:
  
  Thanks 🙂
  
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Arman on January 12, 2014 at 4:22 pm said:

I love it!!! Short, sweet and to the point. I haven’t mastered the act with grace part completely (I don’t have a poker face) but I am trying. Love the idea of the list, think I am going to try and make one too 🙂

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- elizabeth2560 on January 13, 2014 at 5:42 pm said:
  
  The ‘acting with grace’ part can play tricks with one’s inner calm; however, it seems to be effective overall…… 🙂
  
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